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Waking Up from Darkness (continuation)


        I thought after what happened, things would be better. But it didn’t. It made him worse. My attempt of leaving him and this world became his ticket to verbally abuse me even more. He would always say the most hurtful things that will leave me feeling helpless, fearful and weak. Many times he would say that nobody will accept me anymore. Nobody will take me in. And if I tell others about his behavior, nobody will believe me anyway. I am a useless dumb idiot, a worthless pig who deserves what I get, and I should be harassed, used, and fooled by other men. I asked him several times what I did to him to make him abhor me that much. But it was like speaking to a wall. He echoes back my words and mimics my voice with ridicule. He often threaten that he might just give me away to one of his abusive friends. But, even he will not take me. He said these so many times that I came to believe him. That it became who I am. It became my reality.

        For countless n…

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